Yanni

The following is a Senior Composition paper that I wrote while in High School.  The grade I received as well as some teacher notes are at the bottom.  This paper was meant to be satirical, although Yanni is not that bad at all.  I am particularly proud of this paper.  The prompt for this paper was, ‘Write about an idol or hero or someone you admire, giving an adequate description of their features and activities and personal reasons for picking them.’

Other High School papers: “Cardboard Fish With a Wooden Box Head

Yanni

            Yanni is most likely a person who takes effect on young, vulnerable teen-girls, with his gloriously rich facial hair and soundly music, but now he has taken an effect on me.  My first occurrence with Yanni manifested inside the depths of the all-holy inter-webs.  The day began as any others would.  I awoke with my four-legged dog licking me with her rough tongue, which slid in and out of my facial orifices.  Later that day, an event began casually interloping into the stale evening, and whether in knew it or not, this event would soon alter my life with the power of Yanni.

It began in the family room.  Daylight shone precariously through a single drafty window as I began to fall to the powers of sweet temptation, downloading again and again, not begin able to redirect my pupils from Yanni’s unshaven moustache and moist, poignant hands.  This was the first time that I laid eyes on Yanni.  I reacted like any humane person would have; I instantly traveled to his Wikipedia page, which was rather lacking, to learn more.

Yanni is a pianist who composes “new-age” classified music; although, “contemporary instrumental” is what he prefers.  He comes from Greece, and he is currently fifty-six years old.  Yanni is one of the top fundraisers of all time for public television.  He also has twelve albums, all displaying his awkward photography, in which he never sings but often has backup singers vibrantly proclaiming his cult-like hymns.  These albums have sold over twenty million copies.  I would also estimate that Yanni gets numerous massages, around two per day.  In addition to that, Yanni has many features that set him apart from most people.

Yanni has elongated, black, lustrous hair with ears so bulbous you wonder if they are real.  I often ponder his scent with my nostrils and I often smell vanilla.  He has a rather oblong face and a set of white teeth.  His cheekbones are the size of femurs.  Yanni also holds blue eyes and a sublime moustache that has the power to tickle the minds of young adolescent boys such as myself.  Such titillating brain-like sensations is the thing that powers my animal-like urges to repeatedly mount and dismount the rotating curvatures on merry-go-rounds; and now, as I sleep quietly in the comfort of my bed, Yanni breaches my dreams, coming in from the clouds to carefully pour warm breast milk slowly on my baby-like body.  It is at this moment that I awake to his new-age instrumentals playing brilliantly through my ears.  Therefore, now, as I sit ingesting elbow macaroni and wide-egg noodles, I beg my young, succulent siblings to scream loudly into my ear how parallel my nostrils are and how well-trimmed my inner back hair could have been.

My experience with this man has taught me some valuable lessons.  It is these lessons that give me the motivation to consume expired jell-o in front of public mirrors on occasion.  The first lesson is that men with moustaches are not always just references to adult material and cheap motel-type men.  They are a sign of respect and that, possibly, you have acquired a slew of furry mammals from an odd source that are trained to lick circular patterns around your Adams apple while you drive long distances.  Secondly, I have learned that it takes hard work and dedication to be a musician and Yanni does it with poise and respect.  Finally, I have acquired such knowledge from Yanni’s Wikipedia page that I now know he was a self-taught pianist, which gives me hope that I might one day become something self taught.

I chose Yanni not just for his exterior allure but also for his inner rectitude.  Yanni is a respectable man, who has taught me to take a less serious and jaunty look at the world.  Conjointly, he has inspired me to not be a plastic person, even though I knew and acted this out before “I met” Yanni.  The aspect about Yanni that I believe has influenced me the most is his uplifting and soothing music.  The music allows me to truly relax and sometimes, do my homework with motivation, minimum to no slacking, and efficiency.

Yanni has influenced me in many ways.  He has opened my eager eyes to a completely new world of music, and with his sweet D flat notes−OH, the D flat notes!!!  How I long to hear their luscious turbulence ring through my ears form the tips of Yanni’s supple hands!  In short, Yanni has been there for me, physically and emotionally (if you know what I mean), and has taught me to follow my dreams.  I have also learned that if I grow a moustache and do not care what anyone thinks, then I can do more and accomplish what I yearn for.  From these experiences, I have developed better habits and firmer facial hair.  With an upstanding role man like Yanni, I will be better fitted and able to accomplish all my child-like fantasies.

*Teacher Notes: Apart from smiley faces and “Ha”s, she wrote, “Disturbing + unique.  Worthy of the ‘yuckipedia.’”

*Grade Earned: 87/100−due to MLA formatting errors.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: